Nuadha Prime

Writer's Block: Baby, you can drive my car

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 06:46:59 GMT

Do you have a "dream car"? If you had money to spare, would you buy a new car? If so, would you be more likely to get an eco-friendly vehicle, a vintage model, or a luxury sportscar?

Submitted By amandom

View 1195 Answers

I would most likely get an eco-friendly car, though if money were no option, I'd also be really tempted to get a Tucker Torpedo. I have always loved the look of the Tucker. However, since I would probably never drive it for fear of damaging it, I think it would be better off with someone who has space to waste on collectible cars.

Star Trek Poll

Thu, 31 Dec 2009 10:39:30 GMT

Felt like another pointless Sci-Fi poll....

View Poll: #1505461

Flag Counter

Tue, 29 Dec 2009 08:42:59 GMT

via Puff

Doctor Who Reviews

Mon, 28 Dec 2009 08:56:25 GMT

This weekend I watched the Doctor Who TV movie from 1997 and "Waters of Mars" in preparation for the End of Time (which I have not yet seen) and to submit my game for ACUS.

There be Spoilers ahead!

Waters of Mars- Everyone I have talked to really liked this one. Flavia also really liked it. I did not. Why? Because I thought we were done with the whole Pompeii/Sucks-to-be-The-Doctor theme at the end of Season 4. The whole bit with The Doctor walking slowly away with the Mars colony facing the water-zombies was horrible and drawn out. The dramatic music made it even worse. The worst part was that I never really felt any tension in the story. I knew the Doctor was going to end up helping them, so the only thing to worry about was how long we were going to have to watch the over-dramatized walk.

The second they told us the situation (that the Mars colony has to die in the nuclear accident), I had the perfect answer. Doctor lets them set the timer and then scoops in with TARDIS and whisks them off to another time and place, letting the "fixed moment in time" happen. As far as Earth goes, they all died on Mars. It's easy and does not mess with the timeline. So, why couldn't The Doctor think of this?

The worst part was the bit with the Doctor looking almost evil at the end as he makes the "Timelord Trimphant" speech. Will Doctor 10 become the Valeyard?

I did like that it hinted that the Water-Zombies were going to wake up the Ice Warriors of Mars, which the Doctor encountered in earlier lifetimes in the future of Earth. Also, the Water Zombies were both creepy and silly....a hard combo to pull off.

Doctor Who TV Movie- I remember trying to watch this when it came out. I say trying because I found it dreadfully dull. Sadly, most Americans skipped on it as well and because of the poor ratings it never turned in to a series, despite doing well on the BBC.

Re-watching it with more Doctor Who knowledge, it isn't that bad. Sure, it wasn't a great, but when you compare it to a lot of TV pilots (which it was meant to be) it wasn't too bad. I honestly found "Rose," the first episode of "New Who" to be more boring than it.

Of course, it does have the problem with having the Doctor say he is half-human (on his mother's side). I can see how that would piss off the fans. However, if you ignore that bit, I think the 8th Doctor could have been a lot of fun had he gotten a series.

Besides wanting to give it another try, I also re-watched this to prep for the Ambercon Doctor Who game I am running this year. Last year, The Doctor and the PCs changed time, rescuing Gallifrey from its time-locked status. The results of this time change is that the Doctor in the game this year will be the 8th Doctor (instead of the 13th Doctor they were with last time).

There's no such thing as aliens

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 12:20:37 GMT

Flavia and I started Torchwood season two and keep cracking up as characters outside of Torchwood deny the existence of aliens.

(SPOILERS AHEAD)

Let's see. Season Two takes place after season three of Doctor Who, right? The Earth had the Christmas invasion of Doctor Who season Two where a high percentage of the population were controlled by the aliens and made to stand on the roofs ready to throw themselves off. We also had the whole ghost/Cyber-men thing. There are really that many people still denying alien existence? I could see people not believing things like the Christmas Star were real, but the ghosts and the Christmas invasion affected the whole world.

Also, it occurred to me that Cardiff is basically the Who-niverse's Sunnydale.

Poll results

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 12:14:44 GMT

The favorite Doctor Who season poll ended up with a tie between season one and four. I was surprised to see Season One so popular since I know so few who liked the 9th Doctor that much. However, it did have some damn fantastic episodes, so I guess I shouldn't be. "Dalek" is one of my favorite Doctor Who episodes. I loved the two parter that introduced Captain Jack. The reality show episode with the Doctor in Big Brother was fun. The more I think about it, they packed a lot of awesomeness in to that season.

However, David Tennant is my favorite Doctor. (Although, I am also becoming fond of the second as a watch some of the older Doctor Who shows.) Personally, I picked Season Three. It gave us "Blink" which is one heck of an episode. I also really loved the two-parter were the Doctor is human and the finale is my favorite of the series. The reveal of The Master was ....well...masterfully done. Martha is my favorite companion and I think it stinks she only was around for one season, but that was good writing too. I liked that she realized that she was pining away for a guy she would never be with.

In the Cyber-villain poll, The Terminators won with 5 votes, followed by the Cylons and Daleks with 4 votes each. The Borg sadly only got one vote, but I think that goes back to what I was saying yesterday about how poorly they were used later in Star Trek (particularly Voyager). I thought the early Borg episodes were masterpieces and they were a cool villain. "I, Borg" (the episode with Hugh Borg) was one of my favorite TNG episodes. Like "Dalek" in DH S1, it gave a more sympathetic look at the big bads.

I was one who voted for The Terminators. This was a tough choice for me. I love robotic bad guys in general. That's why I play Necrons in 40K and I think it is a large part of why I became such a fan of Battlestar Galactica when I was a kid. I love The Borg, Daleks, and the Cylons (old version), but The Terminators are one of the coolest designs with their robo-skeleton look and red eyes. They also have the unstoppable robotic killing machine thing down to artform. They keep coming, menacingly but steadily. They pick up weapons, cars and whatever they need along the way.....and they just don't stop until you melt them or something.

In other poll news, Star Trek now has a solid second place in the poll I posted on the Savage Worlds Message Boards. This makes me happy to see since I have been worrying that Star Trek has lost a lot of status with sci-fi geeks over the years. Babylon 5 and Doctor Who are competing for third place.

Polls are fun!

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 07:19:51 GMT

OK. I am being a bit silly with the polls now. I know. I am having fun. Indulge me a little.

View Poll: #1502511

Daleks and The Borg

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 07:10:39 GMT

Comments in my last few posts have brought up the statement by a few that Daleks are being over-used in the new Doctor Who series. I love the Daleks, but I have to admit that 3 out of four finales being about the Daleks combined with two stories mid-season on Daleks ("Dalek" and "Daleks in Manhattan") is too much.

Since I am prepping ideas for a new League of Quantum Gentlemen game for Ambercon this year and now can re-watch season 4 through Netflix, I re-watched the finale. It occurred to me that the over-saturation of the Daleks is like what happened with the Borg in Trek. However, I have to admit after re-watching the finale that they managed to do something that Trek failed out. The Borg lost its threat and by the time it was on Voyager, they weren't a bid deal any more. They over-used them and in doing so they removed all tension about them. In "Best of Both Worlds," the Borg were an extreme threat and I remember when it came out being on the edge of my seat wondering how the Federation could possibly stop them. (I also remember waiting and waiting for the second part and wondering if Riker would be captain in the next season.)

In Doctor Who, they manage to keep the Daleks a scary threat. When the heroes hear "Exterminate!" broadcast from the coming fleet of ships and you see the panic on their faces, it reminds you: Earth can't do anything to stop the Daleks. Earth needs a Doctor.

So, it could be worse. They may be overusing the Daleks, but at least they haven't neutered their threat.

Woo-Who

Tue, 22 Dec 2009 08:38:16 GMT

Season 4 of Doctor Who and Season 1 of Torchwood have been added to Netflix instant view! I still haven't seen the season finale of Torchwood season one and have been itching to re-watch the Library episodes of season 4, so this makes me very happy.

To celebrate.....another poll!

View Poll: #1502073

Star Wars Episode One Review

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 12:23:47 GMT

I ran a Star Wars RPG over the weekend, ignoring the prequels. That's right. Only the original trilogy was canon. This reviewer catalogs all of the complaints that went through my head while I watched them.

The reason for the poll....revealed at last!

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 06:41:40 GMT

I was looking something Firefly related up recently and while I was in wikipedia read this about Firefly:

In 2005, New Scientist magazine's website held an internet poll to find "The World's Best Space Sci-Fi Ever". Firefly came in first place, with its cinematic follow-up Serenity in second.[69] Also, as of May 2007, it was the most popular science fiction show amongst users of tv.com.[70]

The follow-up film, Serenity, was voted the best science fiction movie of all time in an SFX magazine poll of 3,000 fans.[73]

Firefly was later named as number 25 on TV Guide's list of "The 30 Top Cult Shows Ever".[74]

This is mind-blowing to me. I figured it had to be a fluke. I love Firefly. Like everything else Whedon does, it is amazingly fun and has some great characters. However, "#1 Space Sci-Fi of all time?" I figured it had to be demographics of the poll. I figured that Firefly is the new shiny show. (Shiny!) I figured that if you asked a bunch of sci-fi fans about my age, you would get a different response. I was guessing Babylon 5 or Doctor Who, amongst my friends. (B5 missing from the list really was a complete error on my part!).

I also posted a similar poll on a RPG forum I visit (for Savage Worlds) and remembered to include B5 this time and not include Quantum Leap. The results were Firefly in first place with 16 votes with 2nd place as a three-way tie between B5, Doctor Who and Star Trek (9 votes each).

I just don't think of Firefly as great Sci-Fi. Call me old fashioned, but I want some aliens in my sci-fi. I want some weird science stuff in my sci-fi. Firefly had revolvers, machine guns and cattle. Sure there was spaceships and the occasional hover-train, but tech and aliens were mostly absent. I love it as an action-adventure show with sci-fi elements in the same way that I like the new BSG as a drama with sci-fi elements. (Hell, the new BSG has made me think of BSG as a drama so much that when making this list I forgot to list BSG even though the original BSG would be my #2 choice after Trek.)

Even if I did think highly of Firefly as a sci-fi show, it didn't last long enough in my mind to compare with the likes of many of these other shows. This isn't to say it couldn't have been great. The worst part of the show is that it ends just as story arcs are starting to build and had the show gotten more that a partial season, I think it would have been great. I think it would have been even better than Buffy or Angel. However we will never know.

That said, Firefly has 18 episodes. About half or more of them are great and none are stinkers. Lets say it has 10 great episodes. Hell, lets say every one was great. I can name more than 18 great Star Trek episodes. I can name more than 18 great Doctor Who episodes or 18 Farscape episodes. Firefly was great for while it lasted, but how can 18 episodes make it better than the wealth of greatness we get in these other shows?

Someone said it in the comments here or at the forum (I don't remember which). They said that it may be the fact that it stops just as it gets really good that makes Firefly stand out in our minds as great. It had a short and fantastic run. I remember getting to the last disc of the series and my ex and I trying to not watch them....to pace out the last few episodes. We couldn't do it. The last episodes of the series are also the best. We had to watch..."just...one....more," and then another and another. That last disc was watched in one night. We had no self control. The bitter-sweetness of that last episode making us scream for more.

I think that if I liked Serenity more, maybe I would still be screaming for more. I liked Serenity but it wasn't, IMHO, as good. It made me OK with the fact that, if we have a choice between seeing Firefly go the way that Buffy went with diminishing quality or letting it end here....just let it end. At this point, it is like if Buffy ended on season 4 and we never had to see the trio of evil. If the show ends on a high note like that, we glorify it in our mind and it becomes even better as we ache for more. If we give it time, it would have had a bad season and that would taint the whole series.

For the record, I have admitted that my love for the original Battlestar Galactica is no doubt linked to it only getting the one season. I grew up imagining how great it would have been had we gotten a season two. (Don't mention Galactica 1980 in response to this. Just don't.) I wanted to see where future adventures would bring the brave crew of the Galactica and I instead just glorified the one short season I got. I watched it again and again and long before Richard Hatch started writing his "Galactica: TNG" books, I had already outlined a series myself. I started creating a Galactica RPG in high school, shortly after I started playing RPGs and knew that if I could revive one TV series, it would be that. "'cuz it was the greatest series ever." I re-watched them all a few years ago after getting them on DVD and have been re-watching Trek the last couple years. I realized something now that I am not pining away for a new series. BSG is good, but having a short good series does not make it better than the long good series.

Please go gentle in the comments. These are only my humble opinions. I love Firefly too! I really do!

Oh god....I am going to have an angry mob of brown-coats at my door with pitch-forks now, aren't I? :)

Wesley Crusher is a Time Lord!

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 04:51:55 GMT

He may be The Doctor himself!

I'm curious what the results would be here.

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 08:19:02 GMT

View Poll: Best Sci-Fi Show Ever Poll

I'll post what brought this up later.

Dark Knight Musical Parody

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 05:53:09 GMT

Joker, I am asking you for a truce. I need you to explain the plot to......Batman.

He Drives Us Bats!

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 05:39:56 GMT

I have had the song He Drives Us Bats stuck in my head all day from the "Mayhem of the Music Meister" episode of Batman: Brave and the Bold. For those of you who don't know, Neil Patrick Harris recently guest-starred in a special musical episode of the greatest Batman cartoon ever made. :D

Sadly, the guy who usually posts the episodes on Youtube doesn't have the Music Meister episode up yet. You can download in the XBox Marketplace and that is what I ended up doing. It was worth every penny.

"Even without Shark Repellant, he's tougher than he seems. All the other heroes have to ask, why is he always the top cat? He drives us bats!"

I am serious, though. Batman: B&tB has even replaced the Dini/Timm Batman cartoon as my favorite. The recent Bat-mite episode sealed the deal. Why? The show actually gets self-aware for a bit as Bat-Mite asks the audience if perhaps having Batman fighting mutant Easter Bunnies was too far out-of-character. So, Bat-Mite polls a fifth dimensional comic book convention. You can see the scene that seals it here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xb9VSIT8lY8. That's MY Batman! He may be a street-level detective, but that doesn't mean he disappears when the mutant bunnies and 5th dimensional imps show up.

Top Five or Ten Meme

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 08:31:06 GMT

Reviving an old but fun meme.....

Comment, and I will assign you a top 5 or top 10 list to provide. Top 10 favorite cheeses, top 5 reasons why Colossus is the greatest of the X-Men, whatever. In turn, others may comment and receive lists from you.

Comic Book Geekery

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 08:10:14 GMT

It has been a while since I posted about the comics I am reading. This is mainly because I am reading so few titles.

Superman: World of New Krypton- This is my favorite title right now. It is following the story of Superman re-locating to "New Krypton" to keep an eye on General Zod. It is doing a really good job of using the sci-fi elements of Superman's origin. It is also keeping me guessing where they are going. Each issue has some fun suprises and the current issue has the beginning of a nice "Mystery in Space" as Adam Strange and "Commander El" (Superman) team up to solve the mystery of a murder of one of New Krypton's ruling council.

Green Lantern/Blackest Night- I have bitched and bitched about the fact that having the threats be "different colored lanterns" isn't very creative, but the fact is Johns has been doing a good job of making the stories personal and interesting enough to bring me back. Is this a great comic crossover? No, but it is certainly a better crossover than any of the other recent ones (DC or Marvel).

Adventure Comics- It has been good. The latest issue put Connor Kent on hold to follow a story of Superboy Prime in a Blackest Night crossover.....and I actually enjoyed it. I haven't read the Tale of Three Legions, but am interested now in the recent issue's comment that there is a "Legion of Earth Prime." I am guessing that may be Waid's Legion series.

Shakespeare

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 06:38:45 GMT

You have not truly experienced Hamlet, until you have seen in its original language: Klingon (Via Rednikki)

Dungeons and Dragons 4e thoughts

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 12:33:40 GMT

I finally got to play in some D&D 4th edition games recently. After running it for a year, I was starting to come to the same conclusions as this guy did in the quote below (from the D&D forums):

Combat is absolutely the primary focus of 4E. A quick look at all the revisions, errata, and subsequent magazine articles trying to fix Skill Challenges is proof of that. They made the combat of 4E awesome. It's deep, descriptive, and has oodles of options for every class (almost to the point of making them a bit too interchangeable). Comabt in 4E is what you do. Combat is AD&D is what you could do.

They made 4E combat so intense and fun, that other aspects seemed to take a back seat. Every time I would make a combat-light or combat-free adventure, it never went well. There was always a lot of goofing-off, not paying attention, etc. They were so itching to try out New Power X, that they grew bored with RP. As a long-time DM, that didn't set well with me at all. I've always been about making it fun for the players, so I tried to gear it toward their combat-focused mindsets...but that became simply too much work for me.

Since I was the primary DM since 4E came out, I decided to try it from the other side of the screen for a while...and found myself doing the same thing, to a degree. I had this pile of cool powers that I was chomping at the bit to try, and let my love for RP take a back seat to it. That was the last straw for me. I always looked at D&D as an RPG first, and a combat game second. Combat was what you did after trying other things first. 4E just seemed to go the opposite way for me and my groups. After the game, instead of sitting around talking about the different cool things they came across/conversations they had/RP experiences, they just talked about "Did you see how much damage I did with X?", or, "I wated three hours to use Power X, just to have it miss....and it was a Daily!"

Take the premade adventures, for example. You could simply pull out all of the combat scenarios, put them back to back, and you end up with Dungeon Delve. Little to no RP, and tons of fighting. That might be perfect for many players, but I love RP, and hated that every time I tried to push RP on the players, they grew bored. I finally told them that their playstyle was too different from my own, and that someone else could DM 4E for them. I was going back to AD&D. Much to my surprise, many of them came along with me.

I like 4e a lot. It is a blast to play, but it is a blast to play combat. Anyone who says it isn't a roleplaying game because it doesn't have rules for all of the non-combat stuff, has it all wrong. We don't need rules for roleplaying stuff and rules just get in the way. We need rules for things like combat. However 4e did such a good job making combat fun to play that you kind of feel cheated as a player if there isn't a lot of it. I played in a game at U-Con recently and the scenario only ended up with two combats and a whole lot of roleplaying scenes. It was fun. It was interesting. However, I had built this character for the game that was really good at teleporting around the battlefield in a combat. I envisioned it being a blast to play as I built the character as my little goblin warlock constantly would get chased down by the bad guys (who usually love to try and kill the squishy wizards) only to see my goblin blink away and open up with more fireballs. All those fun tricks I built in to the character never got to get played.

On the other side, I played in a 4e game the same weekend that the GM described as a hack and slash dungeon crawl and felt cheated because I was the only player at the table even bothering to give my character a name and personality while we fought through room after room of nasty critters.

Yay!

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 14:02:19 GMT

Michael Moorcock announced that he has signed on to write a Doctor Who novel. He said, "Should be fun."

For Firefly fans

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 10:51:29 GMT

..check out the first few minutes of the newest episode of Castle

My 250 Rules for RPGs

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 13:13:09 GMT

This isn't actually my list, but someone showed it to me and I thought it was petty funny. I bolded some of my favorites.

1. Cannot base characters off the Who's drummer Keith Moon.
2. A one man band is not an appropriate bard instrument.
3. There is no Gnomish god of heavy artillery.
4. My 7th Sea character Boudreaux is not 'Southern' Montaigne.
5. Not allowed to blow all my skill points on 1pt professional skills.
6. Synchronized panicking is not a proper battle plan.
7. Not allowed to use psychic powers to do the dishes.
8. How to serve Dragons is not a cookbook.
9. My monk's lips must be in sync.
10. Just because my character and I can speak German, doesn't mean the GM can.
11. Not allowed to berserk for the hell of it, especially during royal masquerades.
12. Must learn at least one offensive or defensive spell if I'm the sorcerer.
13. Must not murder canon NPCs in their sleep, no matter how cliche they are.
14. Ogres are not kosher.
15. Plan B is not automatically twice as much gunpowder as Plan A.
16. I will not beat Tomb of Horrors in less than 10 minutes from memory.
17. Collateral Damage Man is not an appropriate name for a super hero.
18. When surrendering I am to hand the sword over HILT first.
19. Drow are not good eating.
20. Polka is not appropriate marching music.
21. No longer allowed to recreate the Death Star Trench Run out of genre.
22. There is no such thing as a Gnomish Pygmy War Rhino.
23. Any character who has a sensitivity training center named after him will be taken away.
24. Even if the rules allow it, I am not allowed to summon 50,000 Blue Whales.
25. The green elf does not need food badly.

225 more after cut....

26. Valley speak has no place in a fantasy setting. Especially if you're the paladin.
27. I am not to shoot every corpse in the head to make sure they aren't a zombie in Twilight 2000.
28. The Goddess' of Marriage chosen weapon is not the whip.
29. I cannot have any gun that requires me to continue the damage code on back.
30. I am not to kill off all the vampires in the LARP, even if they are terminally stupid.
31. The backup trap handler is not whoever has the most HP at the time.
32. I cannot buy any animal in groups of 100 or over.
33. There is no such skill as 'improvised cooking'
34. I am not allowed to base any Droid off any character played by Joe Pesci.
35. I am not allowed to convince the entire party to play R2 units.
36. I am not allowed to convice the entire party to sit on the same side of the table.
37. They do not make black market illegal cyberweapons for rodents.
38. When investigating evil cultists not allowed to just torch the decrepid mansion from the outside.
39. Gnomes do not have the racial ability 'can lick their eyebrows'
40. Gnomes do not have the racial ability to hold their breath for 10 minutes.
41. Gnomes do not have the racial ability 'impromptu kickstand'
42. Having a big nose adds nothing to my seduction check.
43. No longer allowed to set !@#@ propaganda music to a snappy disco beat.
44. Not allowed to spend all 100 character points on 100 1pt skills.
45. My character names are not allowed to be double entendres.
46. Sliver rhymes with silver because the computer frelling says so.
47. They do not make Nair in wookie sizes.
48. The elf is restricted to decaf for the rest of the adventure.
49. Not allowed to blow up the Death Star before that snotty farm kid gets his shot.
50. Not allowed to use thermodynamic science to asphyxiate the orcs' cave instead of exploring it first.
51. No longer allowed to use the time machine for booty calls.
52. My bard does not know how to play Inna Godda Davida on marachas.
53. Not allowed to start a drow character weighing more than a quarter ton.
54. Cannot pimp out other party members.
55. Before facing the dragon, not allowed to glaze the elf.
56. No matter how well I roll, a squirrel cannot carry a horse and rider at full sprint.
57. In the middle of a black op I cannot ask a guard to validate parking.
58. Expended ammunition is not a business expense.
59. Not allowed to pose the Netrunner in embarrassing positions when he's on a run.
60. Not allowed to short sheet the bedroll of impotent dieties.
61. Can only taunt the ranger about his lack of swimming after my USCG E8 saves him.
62. I am not allowed to do anything I saw Han Solo do once.
63. No, I cannot buy 10,000 marbles even if I say please.
64. My paladin's battle cry is not "Good for the Good God"
65. There is no Summon Bimbo spell.
66. Not allowed to start a character that speaks every language except ones the party speaks.
67. There is no Kung Fu manuever "McGuire Swings For Bleachers"
68. Bring him back intact includes redundant organs.
69. There is more to wizardry than magic missile. Even if I can do 200 damage automatic with no save.
70. Not allowed to cook up nerve gas in the sink even if the target number is 5.
71. There is no 'annoy' setting on a phaser
72. Not allowed to start a character who is over 100 years old unless he's an elf or dwarf. Humans are right out.
73. Not allowed to name my cudgel Ceremonial Whoopass Stick.
74. My thief's battle cry is not "Run And Live"
75. Nor is it "You take care of the orcs, I take care of the traps"
76. I am not allowed any artistic license while translating.
77. I did not get my super powers from James T. Kirk.
78. Not allowed to commission a pistol that costs more than a sedan.
79. I am not liquid metal.
80. When accepting a challenge for a duel, I must allow the other guy time to find a pistol.
81. A picture of my ex-wife is not an acceptable backup weapon.
82. Victory laps after killing the dragon with my 1d2 bow is considered in poor taste.
83. My gnome does not like big butts and he cannot lie.
84. Not allowed to talk my fellow inquisitors into buying a 220lb pull crossbow.
85. Not allowed to talk my fellow inquisitors into buying an industrial strength flamethrower.
86. Not allowed to make a superhero with a 99% chance of dodging even after the -10 penalty for a successful called shot.
87. There is no such thing as a dwarven katana.
88. My bard does not get a bonus to perform if she is obviously not wearing anything under her tabard.
89. The elf's name is not Legolam.
90. My swashbuckling fop cannot take the flaw Dark Secret: Not Gay
91. A wet towel does not constitute an improvised weapon.
92. The name of the weapon shop is not "Bloodbath and Beyond"
93. I am to remind my DM that he must never, ever give my paladin a dire boar for a mount again.
94. I cannot base my ancient kung fu master on neither Gene Simmons or Bluto Blutarski.
95. I must not put the Thunder God on the spot again.
96. No making up polearms.
97. My one wish cannot be 'I wish everything on this piece of paper was true'
98. There is no such thing as Speed Polka.
99. Not allowed to see if Jedi can parry a shotgun blast with their lightsaber.
100. When any character from a d20 sourcebook is allowed, that doesn't include System Lords.
101. I am not allowed to pave ANYTHING.
102. I am not authorized to start any civil engineering project on the taxpayer's dime.
103. There is no such thing as a Club +3 of Cup Checks
104. Nor is there a +1 Longsword, +5 against party members.
105. I am not allowed to polymorph anyone into Abe Vigoda.
106. I do not have weapon profiency in cat.
107. There is no such game as Wereshark the Buffet.
108. No, I do not get XP for every single crewman on that Star Destroyer.
109. Not allowed to kill a vampire with any part from a DC-10 larger than my car.
110. Not allowed to serenade the party even if my character has an internal tape deck.
111. I did not pick the garrote skill last week from my grandmother.
112. If the gun can't fit through the x-ray machine, it doesn't go on the plane.
113. My Droid is not allowed to paraphrase any Jack Nicholson soliloquy.
114. The Demilich only falls for getting stuffed in the bag of holding once. (I always love as the GM when players try to use the same trick on the same character. I either get to have the PC look at them like "really? You expected me to fall for that?" or for comedic effect, I let him fall for it again with a "Oh....damn." -James)
115. My musical instrument does not double as a personal flotation device.
116. Not allowed to take a coffee break during the final super villain showdown.
117. I am restricted to memorizing Floating Disc only once per day.
118. I will pick a more traditional paladin weapon instead of a sledgehammer.
119. My character's names cannot be anagrams of playboy playmates.
120. Not allowed to kill another party member with a boomerang again.
121. I am not a contractor for Dragon Cave Cleaning Services Inc.
122. The paladin's alignment is not Lawful ****.
123. Not allowed to forget to mention traps when the powergamer has point.
124. I cannot insert the words "Kill Phil, Sorry Phil" into any list of instructions.
125. Lingerie can only snap coincidentally so many times per day.
126. Dwarves do not count as burrowing animals.
127. Not allowed to download AOL 6.0 on the Arasaka mainframe. (Yay! Cyberpunk 2020 references!)
128. Polka Gnomes exist only in my mind.
129. Not allowed to name my ship The Antidisestablishmentarianism.
130. I am not authorized to form the head.
131. Not allowed to bet how many times the lich bounces.
132. There is no such feat called "Death Blossom"
133. My acrobat cannot balance on the warlord's head for more than one round.
134. The King's Guards official name is not "The Royal Order of the Red Shirt"
135. I cannot demand payment in electrum, backrubs or bubblewrap.
136. I cannot start the 7th Sea campaign with 3 confirmed Drachen kills.
137. I do not have a scorching case of lycanthropy.
138. If the mere thought of it costs the others sanity, I'm forbidden from doing it.
139. My bard is required to take levels in the perform skill and cannot 'just play by ear'
140. The Dutch language does not exist in the Forgotten Realms.
141. My maid does not know kung fu.
142. Not allowed to give a 4 year old a sugar rush just to jack up the CR later.
143. Not allowed to by a holy symbol for every god just in case one of them is right.
144. There is no such thing as pleather armor.
145. I cannot go back in time to cut in line at the Declaration of Independence so everybody now is asked for their Terrence E. Woczinski when signing documents.
146. Not allowed to play an Australian in any game set before 1600.
147. Hobbits are not allowed to have Norse ancestry.
148. There is no Gnomish Deathgrip, and even if there was, it wouldn't involve tongs.
149. Looting the unguarded baggage train is not considered a glorious victory.
150. Not allowed to create recreational drugs in suppository format.
151. Halflings do not have a racial proficiency with the flamethrower.
152. When the guy is at -9 HP is not the best time for my cleric to convert him.
153. I will not propose to every noblewoman at the royal ball until I crit my charisma check.
154. I am not allowed to rub the monk's head for luck.
155. I am not allowed to rub any part of the elf chick for any reason.
156. When one person forgets to buy rations eating the half-elf is not our first option. (MMMMMMmmmmm..... Elves...the other white meat. -James)
157. Any capital scale weapon is not 'my little friend'.
158. I will not declare myself a god just so I can grant myself spells.
159. Airlocks do not double as trash disposals.
160. I will not load any gatling weapon with nothing but paint rounds.
161. I will not nail every single female party member except for the elf chick played by that creepy guy.
162. What ever monster we just killed is not to be tonight's dinner.
163. Not allowed to try and make a dire version of any dog of the toy breeds.
164. I am not to tattle to the halfling assassin's mom about his career choice.
165. I am forbidden from replacing anything with folger's crystals to see if they notice.
166. Not allowed to bribe the enemy commander into withdrawing with a stolen Elvis LP collection.
167. I was not recruited by Star League for any reason.
168. I was also not recruited by 12 dwarves and a wizard to rob a dragon.
169. I am neither the pagan god nor goddess of fertility.
170. I cannot name my character Xagyg or any anagram thereof.
171. My character's dying words are not allowed to be "Hastur, Hastur, Hastur"
172. At no point can I justify spending force points on a seduction check.
173. I am not allowed to recreate Veers' March of the AT-ATs on Zhentil Keep.
174. There is no use of Shatner's spoken word album that doesn't require a humanity check.
175. I am not directly descended from either Huey Lewis or any member of the News.
176. I cannot make called shots to the plectrum, anvil, stirrup, hammer or Isle of Langerhans.
177. Stinking cloud is a privilege, not a right.
178. There are no profanities in Celestial.
179. Chummer means he is my friend, not that sharks find him tasty.
180. I have neither the touch nor the power.
181. I cannot quote Shakespeare in Crinos.
182. No figuring out the plot and killing the actual villain five minutes into the adventure.
183. There are no rules for cooking corn dogs in any d20 supplement.
184. A starting character has no need for 100gp worth of hemp rope.
185. My bard does not need roadies for a dungeon crawl.
186. No cutting line to be a god.
187. I cannot gain more than three drama die per session for making the GM pee.
188. I cannot play a elf with a scottish accent, nor a cajun dwarf.
189. Tourretes is not a flaw, it is a reason to kill the character at creation.
190. Duel wielding small animals is strictly forbidden.
191. My character is not related in anyway to Boba Fett. This goes double for Star Wars characters.
192. If the gun is best fired using the artillery skill, my character is not allowed to have it.
193. Not allowed to kill vampires with seismic charges.
194. When the other guy picks swords for the choice of weapons, that does not leave me pistols.
195. I cannot use a silent feat enambled power word stun and blame it on the dog.
196. I cannot name a character anything that I can't say politely in another country.
197. My epic level character cannot take on the minor goblin menace to his country just to stay sharp.
198. Not allowed to steal my own soul.
199. My third wish cannot be 'I wish you wouldn't grant this wish'
200. I cannot name my character cliche canon characters from other systems.
201. My thief is prohibited from speaking solely in Cant.
202. Character descriptions cannot contain two of the following words: Slavic, Tonedeaf, Karaoke, Musician.
203. My superhero's strength is not classified as snazzy, neato or bodacious.
204. I am not too sexy for the elf, too sexy for the elf, so sexy myself.
205. My 3rd ed. Red Wizard is not allowed to start a business named Thay Co.
206. I cannot forge a +1 sword of Brad's Min/Maxed Paladin/Monk Slaying.
207. The following weapons are not legal choices in a duel: Steamroller, Nerve Gas, Landmine, Midget.
208. I cannot whine about the crappy selection of magical bec de corbins.
209. My Paladin's heraldry is not a smiley face.
210. My Antipaladin's heraldry is not Mr. Yuk.
211. If at any point if my dwarf takes on the mannerisms of Macho Man Randy Savage, he dies.
212. If the party always starts the adventure in a tavern, I cannot opt to start in a brothel.
213. I am not the patron saint of common sense.
214. There is no prestige class Drizzt Slayer.
215. They do not make heavy weapons in pump action.
216. There is an upper limit to the number of Bozo boostergangers I can get in a Volkswagon.
217. If the weapon is capable of staking vampires hiding behind engine blocks, I can't have it.
218. No matter my alignment, organizing halfling pit fights is a violation.
219. In formal introductions to royalty, I must not introduce my companions as just "The Other Guys".
220. I am not the master of the low blow or the gang up.
221. If I get that Yugo up to 120mph again, that's gonna get some paradox.
222. Druids are not against my religion.
223. I cannot convince the Solo he has a cortex bomb when he really doesn't.
224. I cannot insinuate elf chicks are all easy, even though you never hear about a half gnome do you?
225. I am forbidden from monologuing.
226. Troll bubblegum...bad idea.
227. My last wish cannot be "I wish we were playing another game."
228. I cannot use my time machine to hire Hitler a hooker in 1920, thus avoiding WW2.
229. Not allowed to spontaniously check if the elf can take a punch.
230. There is no such thing as monofilament tooth floss.
231. I am not allowed to do anything that would make a Sith Lord cry.
232. It is not possible to recreate any scene from Dr. Who in Crinos.
233. If I am the medtech it is generally assumed I am going to have skill in medicine.
234. My character does not get d34 HP a level.
235. My Samedi is required to have dots in obfuscate.
236. My character has no need for 24,000 cartons of cigarettes, especially in his neighbor's garage.
237. Not allowed to use more than 3 words per game that the GM has to look up the definition.
238. My bard cannot play or has ever heard of the theremin, didgeridoo or glass armonica.
239. Ditto for the Rockerboy.
240. Any character with more than three skills specializing in chainsaw is vetoed.
241. Cannot use the jedi mind trick to get out of a speeding ticket.
242. Not allowed to give quicklings Mountain Dew.
243. Cannot cast haste on the king during a long winded speech to get him to hurry the hell up.
244. Not allowed to taunt the rest of the party in 8 different languages because they forgot to take any.
245. Not allowed to attend any opera whose name the GM confuses with a strip joint.
246. I cannot keep selling that creepy guy's always naked elf chick to nomads every chance I get.
247. If the king rewards me with a forest, I am to assume he intends for me to keep it a forest.
248. There is no Halfling god of groin shots.
249. If a black op requires me to impersonate an employee, I cannot bill the target for overtime.
250. Superfluous Man is not a viable superhero concept.

Writer's Block: Do you prefer a tent or a luxury hotel?

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 10:14:15 GMT

Would you rather spend the weekend camping in the woods or at a luxury hotel? Why?

View 930 Answers

Both are great. When I was younger, I would have gone for the woods. These days, I guess I lean for the hotel. I like comfort more and more as I get older.

Of course, if I am paying for it I prefer an nice but not quite luxury hotel, so I can spend more money on other things during my weekend getaway.

Writer's Block: Shopping spree confessions

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 13:06:13 GMT

If you could choose a $1,000 gift certificate for one online store, which would it be and what would you get? Would you share the love with your friends?

View 351 Answers

Amazon. Books & DVDs.

Shatner Awesomeness

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 05:06:21 GMT

Shatner reads the Poetry of Palin

I know its old by now, but I was out of the country. Sue me.